2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize