my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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