Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
