Well apparently he's into motor boating.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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