do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
