Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
