Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
