Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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