is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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