You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We just shotgunned beers for America
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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