your room smells of hookers.
And success
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Im part way to drunk.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
