yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
