halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize