He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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