i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
