with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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