I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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