Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
