Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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