Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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