apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
