i'm signing you up for texting rehab
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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