I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
