I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize