Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize