we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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