Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
