we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
What drink are we having for lunch?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
