Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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