party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
