I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize