but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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