Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
