Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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