I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
sarcasm needs its own font
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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