Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
