Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
