My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
