How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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