Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
