Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
ok first of all what the fuck
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
