It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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