you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
