You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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