I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
