forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
