david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
