Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
