Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
