Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
