Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
