i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
