Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
fuck your aforementioned shoe
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
