just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
