he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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