it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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