and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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