why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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