dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He had one of those small greek statue penises
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
