Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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