i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
