i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
