That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
