apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just had sex on a roof
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
