a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I party with great urgency now.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
