you would pick up someone in the library
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
